Friendships in Stories: What Do They Have in Common?
Friendships share common threads. Whether it's in real life or in the pages of our favorite books, close friendships share certain traits that make them feel genuine and relatable.
Friendships have key markers that signal a tight bond. They might banter or tease each other, have a shared history, enjoy certain rituals together, share common interests, or have inside jokes that only they understand. All these elements help to build a believable and engaging friendship.
Writing Friendships: Where to Start?
In many stories, a friend, family member, or mentor character often serves as a plot device, popping in to move things along when the main character needs a nudge. And that's totally fine if that's what your story needs. But if you want the friendship to be a bigger part of the story, you'll want it to feel more real and organic. To achieve that, you can add a few techniques to your writing toolbox when developing these characters and their relationships.
Flesh Out Both Characters as Their Own Person
Make sure each character has their own traits, values, and goals. Know what makes them tick. They should feel like distinct individuals, not just in their “voice,” but in everything from their personalities and skills to how they act or react.
Ensure the Characters Have a Reason for Their Relationship to Exist
Give them something in common, like a shared background, hobbies, struggles, enemies, or dreams. But also make sure there's a reason they stick together beyond that initial connection.
Show the Relationship as a Two-Way Street
Characters must help, encourage, and support one another. Equality requires both to have equal roles, not just one giving and the other taking. Add some difficulties between them to keep it real. By fully exploring your characters and their friendship, you'll create an authentic and interesting relationship.
Making Friendships Feel Real in Stories
Alright, so even if we do everything right to build our characters and their relationships, readers might not always buy that these characters are super close. You can fully develop a sidekick character, but that alone doesn't make them essential to the story.
Like some romantic relationships in stories, friendships can also feel shallow, despite having the right elements. So, if we want readers to really believe in a tight-knit friendship, we can borrow some techniques from how we develop deeper romantic relationships.
How to Show a Close Relationship
It's totally fine if the relationships in our stories are shallow. That happens in real life, so it's realistic for our characters to have those kinds of connections, too. But if we want readers to feel that a relationship is genuinely close, we need to take the characters' connection to the next level. By developing these connections more deeply, we'll create friendships that feel authentic and meaningful, making our stories more engaging and relatable.
Two Key Elements to Show Close Relationships
If you want to make readers believe your characters are super close friends, there are two key things you should include:
1. The Characters Recognize Each Other’s Inner Self
Portray characters genuinely perceiving each other. This could be anything from knowing exactly how far they can push each other when teasing, to understanding their deepest fears, false beliefs, and hidden wounds.
2. The Characters Accept Each Other’s Inner Self
Show (or at least hint at) that the characters respect, care about, and even love the true self of the other person. This could be anything from patiently listening to the other character talk about their favorite (but maybe boring) hobby, to supporting them even when they think the other character is making a big mistake. Acceptance doesn’t mean there’s no conflict, but in the end, the characters stick together and don’t change each other.
Essence-to-Essence Connection
If you’re familiar with Michael Hauge’s approach to characters, these elements align with what he calls an Essence-to-Essence connection. This is where characters see, respect, and care for each other’s true selves. When audiences see this level of connection between characters, they’ll totally believe that these characters are close. It doesn’t matter if the relationship is between friends, family, mentors, or romantic partners. When closeness is present, audiences relate to and care about characters. By focusing on these elements, you’ll create deep, meaningful friendships in your stories that readers will love and believe in.
Great Examples of Friendships in Literature -
The Fellowship of Frodo and Samwise
One of the most iconic friendships in literature is that of Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings" series.
. Their relationship is a testament to unwavering loyalty and courage in the face of overwhelming adversity. Sam's dedication to Frodo on their perilous journey to destroy The One Ring showcases the depth of their bond and the strength that can be drawn from a genuine friend.
The Trio of Harry Potter
The friendship between Ronald Weasley, Harry Potter, and Hermione Granger from J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" series is another prime example of a strong literary bond.
These three friends support each other through various challenges, both magical and mundane, demonstrating the power of friendship to overcome even the darkest of times.
The March Sisters
Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women" presents the March sisters, whose relationship goes beyond familial ties to encompass the essence of friendship.
Their mutual support and love through various trials and triumphs provides readers with a sense of the enduring nature of sisterly bonds.
The Classic Duo of Holmes and Watson
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's detective stories are emblematic of a friendship that complements each partner's strengths and weaknesses.
Watson's loyalty and grounding influence balance Holmes' brilliant but often aloof demeanor, creating a dynamic partnership that has captivated readers for generations.
Elizabeth Bennet and Charlotte Lucas
In Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice," the friendship between Elizabeth Bennet and Charlotte Lucas is a nuanced portrayal of companionship in societal expectations and personal choices.
Their relationship endures despite differing life paths and perspectives.
The friendships portrayed in literature serve as powerful examples of the human capacity for connection and mutual support.
From the fantastical realms of Middle-earth to the everyday struggles in the lives of the March sisters, these relationships inspire readers to value and nurture the friendships in their own lives. Whether through acts of bravery, moments of comfort, or the simple act of being present, these literary friendships remind us of the profound impact that a genuine friend can have on our lives.
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