A Down and Dirty Guide to Dialogue
It can be difficult for novice authors to create dialogue that reads authentic. When one manages it, the work often gets praised and embraced by fans.
For instance, Terry McMillan's novel Waiting to Exhale, the movie Pulp Fiction, and The West Wing TV series were all remarkable because of their realistic character interaction. In contrast, many inexperienced writers let their characters speak unnaturally like this:
"What happened to you, Joe?"
"Well, Mike, I was walking down the street, and a man came up to me. I said to him, `What seems to be the difficulty?' He
replied, `You owe me a hundred dollars.' But I said I didn't. And then he hit me."
Here's a more realistic version:
"Christ, man, what happened?"
"Well, umm, I was goin' down the street, y'know, and this guy comes up to me, and I'm like, hey, man, what's up? And he says to me, he says, `You owe me a hundred bucks,' and I'm like no way, man. In your dreams. Then -- pow! I'm on the sidewalk."
Note the distinctions. People's usual conversations contain casual profanity ("Christ"), be very relaxed ("guy" rather than "man," "bucks" instead of "dollars"), and have several contractions and insignificant words (incomplete syllables) ("goin'," "y'know"). In addition, when describing something that happened in the past, most people use present tense to retell it ("he says to me," instead of "he replied").
The speakers mention each other's names - this never happens in actual conversations. You know who you are talking to, and they know they're being addressed without having to say it out loud.
In the second example, many features of real human speech are present: when we relay a conversation to another person, we usually just quote what the other person said.
People often act out events instead of describing them ("Then — pow! I'm on the sidewalk"). Obviously, when they said, "on the sidewalk," they meant he was knocked down, rather than literally saying he was standing there throughout the altercation.
Now, which of the examples is better? The second one is more vivid and entertaining to read - but it's also more tiring.
A small amount of accuracy goes a long way. A little usage of devices like these can hint at character. Too much use is just amateurish writing that relies on stereotypes to create character.
For example, unless you are trying to show your character is an uneducated person (even though everyone talks this way), you rarely see omitting the ends of words.
A stereotypical teenager uses "I'm like" rather than "I said," and verbal delays such as "umm" and hillbillies, rednecks, and street bums use meaningless reiterations (the other half of "He says to me, he says.)
I could use the second example for a short story, however, with novels where readers must sit through hundreds of pages, I'd likely go with something in between:
"Christ, man, what happened?"
"I was going down the street, and this guy comes up to me, and I'm like, hey, man, what's up? And he says to me, `You owe me a hundred bucks,' and I say `in your dreams.' Then — pow! — he knocks me on my ass."
Your characters should not all sound the same when they talk. I read one story where nearly every line of dialog was identical.
To learn how real people speak, record some conversations, and transcribe them. Get permission first! When you read a transcript of speech without body language or inflection, it often looks like gibberish.
To fix this issue, try simply removing words from the transcript rather than changing any words. If you still don't think it sounds natural, keep revising your dialog by reading it out loud.
One thing that appears tricky for starting writers: If someone speaks for several paragraphs, place the opening quotation mark at the beginning of each section but not a closing one until the end.
In North America, individuals should place punctuation marks (periods, exclamation points, and question marks) inside the ending quotation mark: "Here is an example that's done correctly."
Include speech-attribution tags early on whenever you're writing dialog. Nothing bothers readers more than not knowing who's speaking.
Place the tag after the first full sentence: "You know," said Bob, "when the sky is that gray, it reminds me of my childhood back in New England."
If swapping between characters during a conversation, identify them at least every five or six lines. It can be easy for readers to get confused if they don't know who's talking.
When someone is interrupted or cut off abruptly, use an em-dash (which is two hyphens) after their last words; and when something isn't completed because of trailing off, use three periods to show ellipsis points.
Try to mimic genuine conversations as much as possible - this will ensure your readers will keep turning the pages and keep buying your books.
Eric Myers
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